Episode 28
Dear Solo Coach: Am I too old to start a coaching business?
This is the companion audio for this week's Dear Solo Coach Letter.
I answer one question each week in the letter. If you'd like to receive the letters, you can subscribe at: theeleveatedmind.com/letters
If you read one, hit reply and ask me a question, I keep these anonymous, and will answer your question in a future letter.
Transcript
This is the companion to this week's Dear Solo Coach Letter.
Speaker:A woman wrote in asking, Michelle,
Speaker:am I just kidding myself with this whole coaching business thing?
Speaker:I'm feeling really old and you know,
Speaker:am I too old to do this? Now, I've answered this directly in this week's letter,
Speaker:but these are the things that I also want to say,
Speaker:and that I probably should say.
Speaker:There's a lot internally going on.
Speaker:Rather than just the aspect of building a business.
Speaker:You know, there's this idea that
Speaker:~ being visible is harder when you are older.
Speaker:~ you don't want to be as visible
Speaker:as maybe maybe you never wanted to be really visible,
Speaker:but being you know, being an introvert,
Speaker:I can I can relate to that. But no matter what.
Speaker:as you get older, it does feel harder to become visible.
Speaker:And, you know, I wanna say to you that like go on YouTube
Speaker:and look at, search for the women over fifty,
Speaker:over sixty, over seventy who are creating their own YouTube channels
Speaker:and doing it very well.
Speaker:Those women feel the same way that you do,
Speaker:if in fact this is something that you worry about or struggle with.
Speaker:But they're doing it. I struggle with it,
Speaker:you know? And I go and I look at these women
Speaker:for inspiration because many of them are doing it with
Speaker:far less mm years of experience in terms of marketing or putting yourself
Speaker:in front of a camera.
Speaker:And it doesn't matter because they're doing it and they're succeeding.
Speaker:I think there's also this this point of
Speaker:Trying to reach a point in life where you simply just don't care anymore what other
Speaker:people think. Maybe you have reached that point already.
Speaker:I don't think I have fully.
Speaker:Certainly much more so than when I was younger,
Speaker:but I would I still I still worry and care about those things,
Speaker:you know? So I these are these are the things when I have conversations with women
Speaker:that are underneath that feeling of am I too old to do this?
Speaker:It's really
Speaker:You know, sometimes it's really a resistance to being visible.
Speaker:I just don't I look at myself in the mirror.
Speaker:I'm older, I have gray hair, I have more wrinkles,
Speaker:I don't feel like I look vibrant anymore.
Speaker:Why in the world do I want to be visible?
Speaker:Some women worry about being judged,
Speaker:it's kind of along the lines of that worrying about what other people think of you.
Speaker:And, you know, as I said,
Speaker:like I won't say that I am fully through that.
Speaker:But one of the things that I do tell myself
Speaker:is that we've experienced so much of that judgment throughout our lives
Speaker:in one way, shape, or form that you know.
Speaker:I'm good. Maybe maybe I really don't care anymore.
Speaker:I've experienced enough of it throughout life as has any human being,
Speaker:mind you, that I'm simply not going
Speaker:to let that deter me in any way.
Speaker:Because it's going to happen no matter who you are,
Speaker:where you're from, how old you are,
Speaker:how young you are, doesn't matter.
Speaker:There's a you know, some women also struggle with and worry about coming across
Speaker:as not knowing what you're doing.
Speaker:~ you know, lean into your wisdom,
Speaker:trust your wisdom. No, you're not gonna know everything,
Speaker:you're not gonna come off as this the go to expert on every single thing
Speaker:you talk about. I don't. And I don't worry about
Speaker:it because I'm learning too.
Speaker:I think that's more valuable.
Speaker:Than what I can tell you from an expert place.
Speaker:Sure, you know, I have 20 plus years in the industry.
Speaker:There are many things I can tell you from that experience.
Speaker:But I think what's more valuable often is me sharing with
Speaker:you my own journey as I go and where I stumble,
Speaker:where I mess up, how I don't know everything,
Speaker:how I thought I knew what how this looks and how this works,
Speaker:and it doesn't.
Speaker:That happens to me almost on a daily basis.
Speaker:So yeah, let's toss that one aside too.
Speaker:What about like not wanting to negatively affect a title that you've
Speaker:carried for much of your life,
Speaker:a professional title, where you have this perception of being
Speaker:a coach is somehow less than the professional title
Speaker:and therefore you
Speaker:are reluctant to let go of the professional title or muddy it in
Speaker:any way by calling yourself a coach.
Speaker:You you know, I've had conversations with women who exactly that worry about their
Speaker:colleagues, what their colleagues are gonna say.
Speaker:And there we go back to that, you know,
Speaker:don't want to be judged thing.
Speaker:You know, look that if you're here at this point in life and you're regardless
Speaker:of any professional title that you've held,
Speaker:that holds you know, that still holds its everything you've earned with it.
Speaker:Now
Speaker:Calling yourself coach, or you know,
Speaker:if you have some other kind of business where you're sharing your wisdom
Speaker:and your knowledge, like think of it like this.
Speaker:You're choosing to do something with your wisdom and experience in
Speaker:all your years and time on this earth,
Speaker:and you're choosing to do something with it now rather than just let
Speaker:it go unused and wasted.
Speaker:There is no less than in that.
Speaker:But I know it can be a struggle to be when you worry about being perceived
Speaker:differently than you have been perceived for so very long.
Speaker:So work on your own belief around that perception.
Speaker:Because what's happening is you are perceiving a a coach as less than.
Speaker:So work on that.
Speaker:There, you know, is also the fact that as we get older we may or may
Speaker:not be dealing with a little less clarity and a lot of overwhelm.
Speaker:It may take us a little bit longer to grasp something,
Speaker:or maybe we our mental energy wanes faster,
Speaker:or maybe we just simply don't want to put all of the effort we put into
Speaker:~ throughout life. Now we'd like to relax a little bit,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:And you can overcome that by just creating a simple series of steps that
Speaker:you follow in order to, you know,
Speaker:whether it's you need to learn something,
Speaker:grasp something, figure out a new platform,
Speaker:just put a series of of steps in place that work for anything that you approach.
Speaker:It's like I use this example a lot and it and it's a little embarrassing,
Speaker:but it's a lot important to share embarrassing things when
Speaker:I like I am have never been the person who is constantly cleaning.
Speaker:Like I'm talking about in my house.
Speaker:I've never been that person who's always like putting away and do
Speaker:so that it's getting done in little bits throughout the day.
Speaker:Although I know plenty of people who are that way.
Speaker:I'm always the one who has to handle it when it's now a mountain,
Speaker:or at least in my mind it's a mountain.
Speaker:And in order to overcome that,
Speaker:like I know that I'm not gonna necessarily change some aspects of my nature,
Speaker:but I can put some simple steps in place when I do say,
Speaker:okay, I need to get this done now.
Speaker:And you know,
Speaker:I have this very simple process of one,
Speaker:go through the whole house and is there anything that needs to be thrown away?
Speaker:Do that sweep really quick.
Speaker:Takes me just minutes. The second one is
Speaker:Now go through and what needs to be put away.
Speaker:That takes a little bit longer,
Speaker:but it doesn't take very long.
Speaker:And then three is I go to clean surfaces.
Speaker:And then four is cleaning the the floors.
Speaker:That sounds super simplistic, but you have no idea how much that helps
Speaker:me to organize anytime I need to,
Speaker:you know, I've let things go too long.
Speaker:Because it can be very overwhelming.
Speaker:So
Speaker:That's what I mean by just create a simple series of steps that apply
Speaker:to anything that you're gonna need to tackle in your business.
Speaker:Okay, doubt. this is a huge you know,
Speaker:this kind of this is kind of like everything we've talked about so
Speaker:far falls under this doubt. I used to talk a lot about fear,
Speaker:doubt, and worry.
Speaker:But there is a whole lot of doubt,
Speaker:not just in in being older,
Speaker:but can this business thing work at all?
Speaker:Can can it even work? Can it be done?
Speaker:And I don't need to remind you,
Speaker:but I will go again, go on YouTube or just go Google it and search for women
Speaker:who are building over, you know,
Speaker:building businesses over fifty.
Speaker:~
Speaker:you're gonna find an incredible amount of people who have created success
Speaker:at many different levels because I don't want to label success as simply
Speaker:making, you know, a million or more.
Speaker:Like there's so many different li just making ~ just bringing in three thousand
Speaker:a month is huge. You know?
Speaker:So so be careful in what you label as success.
Speaker:So there are tons of people creating I creating s there are people I listen
Speaker:to this like this is a whole rabbit hole I could go down and I promise I won't.
Speaker:But let me just say I listen to
Speaker:This woman talk about how she started a business renting out like the totes,
Speaker:like rubber made containers, you know?
Speaker:The big containers that you store stuff in,
Speaker:the plastic containers. For people who don't want to use boxes when they move.
Speaker:They just want to get they rent the containers from her and they make their move,
Speaker:they empty the containers and they give back.
Speaker:my gosh. Like
Speaker:So let me just say that there are people succeeding in a billion ways.
Speaker:Things that you never knew was even a thing or possible
Speaker:and like this woman is making well over ten thousand a month.
Speaker:It's crazy, crazy. But it's true.
Speaker:So all you have to do go all you have to do when you have doubt is go look.
Speaker:There are many people who have done it,
Speaker:who are doing it. And I am always a firm believer that
Speaker:anything can be done. There's always a way.
Speaker:You just have to choose it in your own mind and you have
Speaker:to change your expectations. You have to change your own state of mind
Speaker:to to one that says, of course it can be done.
Speaker:And it is, and I'm doing it.
Speaker:Belief is the final one. It's kind of wrapped into that doubt.
Speaker:However, you know, this is sometimes a little bit deeper.
Speaker:And you have to really ask yourself,
Speaker:what do I truly believe about myself and building the idea of building
Speaker:a coaching business now? And be very honest.
Speaker:Like nobody else is around. Nobody has to hear you.
Speaker:Nobody's going to hear you. Just you.
Speaker:Be very, very honest with yourself.
Speaker:There's no
Speaker:right or wrong answer here. And pay attention to like that knee jerk response,
Speaker:that that ~ belief
Speaker:And you know, ~ years ago I wrote the seven minute shift,
Speaker:so it's a ~ an exercise and a process that I can walk people through
Speaker:to help them shift beliefs in regards to manifesting and creating more more
Speaker:of what you want in your business and life.
Speaker:And it's based in this, you know,
Speaker:identifying false beliefs and kind of rooting them out and then
Speaker:being able to shift them rather quickly.
Speaker:But I also want to point out, I'm not saying that to promote the book,
Speaker:I'm saying it because I understand exactly the power of belief.
Speaker:And there are again numerous studies that show if I believe that
Speaker:I'm that I'm destined to be sick throughout my life,
Speaker:I will be. And I've just
Speaker:I'm just finishing up the book The Luck Factor,
Speaker:and that is a ~ written by a psychologist who did a very long study
Speaker:on people who consider themselves lucky versus those who don't,
Speaker:and belief is so much of it.
Speaker:They were not born lucky, let me tell you that.
Speaker:The people who are considered lucky.
Speaker:There's also this recurring theme
Speaker:of that I find
Speaker:In all of the reading that I do and whether it's,
Speaker:you know, old texts,
Speaker:~ I read I read a lot about manifesting,
Speaker:but just more so in the the belief systems
Speaker:and even in even in goal setting and but
Speaker:I go I've read many really old books and going far back.
Speaker:And one of the things that I just came across this yesterday,
Speaker:again, it was something
Speaker:obscure. It was a it was ba it was a s scientific organization,
Speaker:I believe. Please don't quote me on that because I didn't ~ write those details
Speaker:down. I just wrote down that they had they had this tagline that was
Speaker:in Latin and the translation was supposedly that ~ life is what
Speaker:our thoughts make it.
Speaker:And that is a theme that I hear and I read and I see over and over and over again.
Speaker:Sure, I go looking for it, yes.
Speaker:But sometimes it pops up in the in the places I don't expect it and
Speaker:it just reminds me that there's so much truth to that.
Speaker:I mean, I listen to physicists talk about it after years of being this kind
Speaker:of hard-nosed scientist who wouldn't entertain the idea,
Speaker:and yet they've come to this point of realization through their own studies that,
Speaker:you know, reality is not.
Speaker:What we think it is, or it and it doesn't happen in the way that we think it does.
Speaker:So another rabbit hole that I won't go down today,
Speaker:but suffice it all to say that be aware of your beliefs and know that your
Speaker:beliefs are the root of so much of what you experience.
Speaker:And
Speaker:Don't worry about judgment or showing that
Speaker:you don't know everything that you're doing,
Speaker:that you're learning as you go,
Speaker:because I am.
Speaker:Build a visibility muscle.
Speaker:Try to let go of some of that concern if that's in fact you.
Speaker:And by all means, know that I'm in your corner.
Speaker:I'm here to support you. And I will talk with you next time.
Speaker:Hey, by the way, if you want to hear more of this or get these letters,
Speaker:you can ~ sign up for it on the website.
Speaker:So theelevatedmind.com forward slash letters plural.
Speaker:Okay. Much love.
